Fuck seriously what is this.

Justin Kor look at what you have become. While others are going uphill, you're fucking sliding down to oblivion. What happened to you? Why have you become a fucking broken empty shell of a boy whom you used to be. What happened to that fucking feist that you had so much that you'd fight for everything. What happened to that never give up spirit. What happened to you, wallowing in self pity practically everyday now when 2 years ago your ego was so fucking humongous.

To be honest, I really have no answer. I have to stop looking forward to the future, because even the path just ahead of me is shrouded in so much uncertainty. I'm fucking afraid of failure. I've had it too many times already. I hate having a low self esteem, hate having no confidence. Please please please I want to fucking go back being the boy I was before.

"How are you going to succeed in life next time?" I seriously have no idea. I really don't